Fenne Lily and the loneliness that keeps on growing

It's one of those days when I feel sad without even knowing exactly what I'm sad about. It's like I know in the back of my head the reason behind all this sadness and I'm trying to catch it so that I can crush it or something, and just when I feel like I'm going to catch it, it disappears. So, here I am listening to my favorite Fenne Lily songs on repeat and hoping the next day I would be able to achieve more than I was able to today.

Maybe it's the joblessness that's making me feel worthless or maybe the depression has kicked in again. Like I said, I can't quite put my finger on the reason why. 

But then again, it feels like this type of sadness has always been there. 

I liked to think I was the type of person who could stay alone for a long time without exactly being bothered by the loneliness. But, apparently not. 

Today, it was Sunday but it wasn't holiday because Republic Day. So, the parents were not home even though they usually are on Sundays. I was waiting and waiting but both of them were not arriving home. And then, Oorie Appa came home and as he was entering the house I almost teared up. Am I going insane or what? I don't know.

I have made a list of things I'm going to finish today and I'm planning to study for 7 hours tomorrow lol. I hope I can do that. I can use havin' a job, I guess. 

On days like these I feel like it must be nice to have a friend.

Things I'm grateful for:

• The Rose.
• Woosung of The Rose's voice!!!!!!!!!!!
• James McAvoy's scottish accent!!!!!!!!!!!  
• I have lost count of the times I've watched that James McAvoy video about that gay fan art thing. I found it funny each time. Does it even make sense?